Listy McList

yes, another list. i haven't written anything in quite some time, so i need something to get me going again. i actually had written something a few days ago, and right as i was finishing, the power went out. i mean, seriously.

TOP TEN NON-IMMEDIATE FAMILY SIMPSONS CHARACTERS:

(in case you're illiterate, that means not homer, marge, bart, lisa, or maggie... they also can't be a one-time character... have to appear on at least "several" episodes, however you define that.)

i'm going to list them backwards, because i hate when you read a list and it starts with #1. it's so anti-climactic. i'll add a quick blurb and/or quote for each one. unless i don't feel like it. and if you also check my away messages, you'll see some repeats. it'll probably suck if you don't watch the show, but if you don't, you've probably stopped reading by now.

10. Principal Skinner (character based on Norman Bates from Psycho): "Well done, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack."
9. Gil (based on the main character from Death of a Salesman [Willie Loman?] )... this is the grey-haired guy that's always desperate for money and trying to sell something.
8. Ralph Wiggum, an idiot kid. A lot of people would have him listed higher, but there are just too many other characters i like more. "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
7. Moe, the bartender. "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."
6. Kent Brockman, news anchor. "Apparently the unemployment line isn't just for philosophy majors anymore."
5. Mr. Burns, Homer's boss. "So, the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon... as a shark, with a gun in its mouth."
4. Lionel Hutz, the Simpsons' incompetent lawyer. R.I.P. Phil Hartman. "Your Honor, I move for a bad court thingy."
3. Comic Book Guy. "Your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them when there is so much crime going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go for the good of the city!"
2. Professor Frink (based on the ORIGINAL Nutty Professor with Jerry Lewis). quotes don't really work for him. he's just awesome.

and my absolute, #1, favorite non-immediate family member Simpsons character is...


1. Lindsay Naegle, the advertising exec/anything that requires a businesswoman. so f'ing hysterical. "Hi, I'm Lindsay Naegle. And I don't want to spend another fiscal year alone."