Nobody ever says "I want to be a junkie when I grow up."

Remember that commercial?

I recently stumbled upon a website for potential jobs for English majors at UNC-Wilmington. Lots of choices here. I'm going to list a few of them for you, tell me if you see anything out of place. In case you think I'm making this up (it would be an awfully strange thing to make up), here's the website:
http://www.uncwil.edu/stuaff/career/Majors/english.htm

Anyway, take a look at the list. My comments are below. Actually, they're all over the place.

*College Professor (can't you say use this one for ANY major? lame.)
*Hotel & Motel Manager
*Playwright
*Poet
*Humorist/Comedian
*Interior Designer (how is this related to English again?)
*Crossword Puzzle
*Journalist
*Singer/Voice (wouldn't this be a music thing?)
*Stockbroker
*Teacher (see College Professor)
*Talent Agent
*Curator
*Teacher (all levels) .... i didn't add this one again. it's in there twice. they really are hammering this education thing home.
*Creative Writer
*Translator
*Comedy Writer
*Writer
*Technical Writer (ok, clearly they want you to be a teacher or writer.)

In case you missed it, one of the occupations is Crossword Puzzle. Hm.

Even if they meant Crossword Puzzle Writer, is that really someone's full-time job? I can't see people sitting around 9-5, working in cubicles, stressing out because they have Crossword Writer's Block.

"GODDAMN IT SANDY, can't you see i'm trying to work on a fucking PUZZLE HERE??? JESUS.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking."