A Monumental Blog

if it didn't require so much damn work to write these things, i'd probably do a lot more blogs. maybe if i could just talk and have someone type it for me. well i don't have that, so my blogs are quite infrequent. here's one i wasn't sure would "make the cut", but christ, i'm pretty desperate for blogs right now. desperate like a speed-dating 43 year old Star Trek fan. creepy.

this one was intended to be a poem, until i started writing, at which point i realized it wasn't poetic. at all. yet another pointless, rambling, incoherent conjunction of words. i wrote it while watching a tennis match.

you may be wondering why this blog is "monumental". well folks, i have finally discovered how to add pictures to my blog, after never trying this once. i'd like to say i've searched for how to do this, but really, i just clicked the button that says "add image". SO... what this blog lacks in poetic beauty, it makes up in giant pictures. enjoy.

The Awful, Awful Things I Would Do To Maria Sharapova

First of all, food would definitely be involved. Butter, maybe. But you can't just have butter, so maybe I'd throw in some toast or an english muffin or something.

The things I would do would definitely be illegal in the U.S., but would likely be encouraged in Vietnam.

My God, she's my height (6'2"). Not that I'm a giant, but JESUS. She's a freak, but she's a hot freak.

Serena Williams is a dirty, dirty whore.

Fin.