TWO stupid people. TWO.

two blogs, two nights. i'm fucking rolling now.

here are two stories about two stupid people. one of them is a work friend. this person doesn't qualify as "friend", hence me being able to talk about her on my blog. huge difference between work friend and actual friend.

Setting: Grocery Store, Aisle 5 (i'm looking for SpaghettiO's, the breakfast of champions)

Her: Hey, Jon! What are you doing here?
Me: I'm taking out a second mortgage, what the fuck do you think i'm doing here?

i didn't say that, obviously. but am i the only one thinking that's a REALLY stupid question? it's like asking someone what they're doing at the gas pump. dumb.

this next one is worse.

Setting: Video Store on a back road
~I was lost and looking for directions. I stopped in and asked this girl to help me out. Little did i know she suffered from dumbassia.

Me: Yeah, i'm trying to get directions to I-64.
Her: Ok, well... you can always go.... well, that may not be the best way (by the way, when people start talking to themselves when they're giving you directions, it's usually a good idea to ask someone else. i learned this the hard way). Ok, take a right out of this parking lot, go about 1 mile, and take a left on Wendover Ave.
Me: Ok.
Her: Then you're going to go straight through the first stoplight.
(pause, while she thinks about what she said)
Actually, make sure the light is green before you go through it.
Me: WAIT, WAIT!!! I'M TRYING TO WRITE THIS DOWN!!! ok, the light should be what color, again?