I was searching for flavored water in the grocery store, and I guess I must have looked lost, because this guy started yelling at me from far away. He was hurrying toward me. You might even say it was more of a scurry motion.
"Hey! What are you looking for? What are you trying to find?"
He was a little too helpful. Plus, he wasn't wearning a name badge or anything that said Food Lion on it.
As he got closer, I could see why he was so anxious.
He was retarded.
Now before anyone starts going off about me making fun of retarded people, I'm not making fun of retarded people. This particular retarded person was like the Rain Main of grocery stores. It was remarkable.
"I'm looking for flavored wa--"
Before I could finish the sentence, he had blurted out (very loudly, I might add), "Aisle 8! Come on, I'll take you!"
Of course, I had to follow him. I felt like if I had said any food, he would have instantly told me where to find it, all the while staring at the floor and bobbing about nervously.
Saltine Cra--
Aisle 5.
Beefaro---
Aisle 9.
Five Alive Citrus Dr--
No longer in stock, no longer in stock. Discontinued since 1987, 1987. Yep, definitely discontinued.
Then, on an entirely unrelated note, I completely broke the shit out of the automatic door (don't ask me how) then made even more of an ass out of myself by cracking up laughing about it in the parking lot. It would be a lot funnier if you knew HOW hard I hit the door (HARD) and how it looked when I left (BAD).
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1 comment:
I need this kid in our new supermarket. It's huge, and I can't find anything without wandering around like an idiot for extended periods of time. If ever you grow tired of him, there's a Wegmans in New Jersey that would gladly have him.
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