Mmmmmm....medicine-y (simpsons reference)

Have you seen these commercials that are like, "Have you recently taken Crapsicoxyn? Have you developed a small tumor on your earlobe? Are you suffering because of this?" How did these law firms get so specific? How do they know WHICH things to advertise? Has anyone else noticed every sentence so far has been a question? "Bobby, have you ever seen a grown man naked?" (if you don't know what that quote is from, well.... i'm not going to tell you.)

Seriously though. It's not even like they make tons of different commercials for tons of different problems. i'm not sure if i'm making sense, so let me explain.

let's say you're the law offices of goldman and smith. you put out a commercial for people who used Phen-Phen. however you spell it. that's all fine. but why did you pick Phen-Phen? wouldn't it be smarter to say something like, "have you ever taken a drug that has harmed you somehow?" or something like, "have you ever done anything at any time that has made your life worse in some way? if so, call us and we'll get you a shitload of money you probably don't deserve, at the taxpayers' expense, of course."

the other thing about this is... every time i see one of these commercials, i'm always jealous that i don't have whatever the affliction is. not because i want a huge settlement (although that would be nice), but because i know someone, somewhere is going, "HEY, THAT'S ME!!! honey, come check out the TV!!! they're talking about my tumor! AWESOME!!!" now, that guy has a story he can tell all his friends. i wish i could take some phen-phen and become horribly disfigured.