My idea

i had an idea for an invention recently that i'm going to share with you. before i do that though, i'd like to make a few comments. now don't just skip to the bottom of the page so you can see what the invention is, either. you may be asking yourself, "jon, why are you sharing your invention idea with us? shouldn't you save it for yourself and make millions of dollars off of it?" the answer is... well i'll tell you after the invention idea:

THE IDEA: a lightbulb that can also be used as a telephone

ok, that's not the idea, i just wanted to throw off anyone that skipped over my comments to the invention idea. SHAME ON YOU. really, the invention is this: taillights that are pressure sensitive. Meaning, right now, when you hit the brakes, it's either red for "brakes being applied" or, uh.... not on for "brakes not being applied". but when you're going really fast, say on the interstate, and someone in front of you hits the brakes, it's hard to tell if they SLAMMED on the brakes, or they just lightly tapped them. i think it would be a good idea if lightly tapping would result in kind of a pinkish hue (i love the word "hue") and slamming on the brakes would be like blood red. i guess i could have picked a different red than "blood red". oh well. so anyway, there would be a whole spectrum of red, depending on how hard you hit the brakes.

now the reason i'm not keeping this to myself is because a.) i have a feeling someone has already had this idea. if you think about how primitive the braking system we have is, it seems like someone would think of that.... and b.) do you really think the Ford Motor Company is going to listen to my suggestion, then pay me for said idea? Hell no. this is more of a prediction than anything else. i have one other cool idea for an invention, but that one i may actually try to use.

Retarded oil guy

Went to get my oil changed, and this guy's comment was so retarded it gets its own blog entry.

Me: I'm here for an oil change.
Him: Okay, you're here to get an oil change?
Me: No, actually I was hoping I could perform one. Do you have any gloves I can borrow?

da dee da dee dee daaaa

couldn't think of a good title. again, haven't written anything in a while, so this will be random. what's new?

I had to get a land line recently, and i've since noticed a drastic (and by drastic, i mean not drastic) difference in the two voice-over women that walk you through checking your voicemail. you know what i'm talking about. you dial verizon (my cell carrier), and the girl goes...

"Please enter your passcode, then press pound."

No personality, no nothing. she might as well have kicked me in the crotch. HOWEVER, when i hear the Embarq (my land line) woman, she says, in that oh-so-sweet sounding voice...

"Hello!"
(then my recorded voice: Jon)

reading the "hello" doesn't really do it justice... she says it in ABSOLUTELY the sweetest sounding voice you've ever heard. it's almost like how a 7-year old that's just discovered an abandoned kitten on the side of the road might say it. and i recently noticed that since i got the land line, i've decided the Verizon woman is a heinous bitch.

Listy McList

yes, another list. i haven't written anything in quite some time, so i need something to get me going again. i actually had written something a few days ago, and right as i was finishing, the power went out. i mean, seriously.

TOP TEN NON-IMMEDIATE FAMILY SIMPSONS CHARACTERS:

(in case you're illiterate, that means not homer, marge, bart, lisa, or maggie... they also can't be a one-time character... have to appear on at least "several" episodes, however you define that.)

i'm going to list them backwards, because i hate when you read a list and it starts with #1. it's so anti-climactic. i'll add a quick blurb and/or quote for each one. unless i don't feel like it. and if you also check my away messages, you'll see some repeats. it'll probably suck if you don't watch the show, but if you don't, you've probably stopped reading by now.

10. Principal Skinner (character based on Norman Bates from Psycho): "Well done, Nibbles. Now chew through my ball sack."
9. Gil (based on the main character from Death of a Salesman [Willie Loman?] )... this is the grey-haired guy that's always desperate for money and trying to sell something.
8. Ralph Wiggum, an idiot kid. A lot of people would have him listed higher, but there are just too many other characters i like more. "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
7. Moe, the bartender. "Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."
6. Kent Brockman, news anchor. "Apparently the unemployment line isn't just for philosophy majors anymore."
5. Mr. Burns, Homer's boss. "So, the caterpillar has emerged from its cocoon... as a shark, with a gun in its mouth."
4. Lionel Hutz, the Simpsons' incompetent lawyer. R.I.P. Phil Hartman. "Your Honor, I move for a bad court thingy."
3. Comic Book Guy. "Your powers of deduction are exceptional. I simply can't allow you to waste them when there is so much crime going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go for the good of the city!"
2. Professor Frink (based on the ORIGINAL Nutty Professor with Jerry Lewis). quotes don't really work for him. he's just awesome.

and my absolute, #1, favorite non-immediate family member Simpsons character is...


1. Lindsay Naegle, the advertising exec/anything that requires a businesswoman. so f'ing hysterical. "Hi, I'm Lindsay Naegle. And I don't want to spend another fiscal year alone."

Save Me, Jeebus

ok, i signed up for this fantasy football league recently, and the name of the league was Christians Who Love the NFL. lame, i know. but whatever, i liked the setup of their league. anyway, i was torn for like 10 minutes as to what I should name my team. I sifted through Jesus Is My Running Back, Pharaoh's Flee Flickers, and Tight Ends for Christ. i preferred the latter. however, i figured they might have a stick up their ass, so i settled on Save Me, Jeebus. this, of course, is a simpsons reference... when homer becomes a missionary, and... well, that's all i feel like saying about it. anyway, i go to draft tonight, and they had kicked me out of the league! WHAT KIND OF HORSE SHIT IS THAT??? i mean, jesus fucking christ, calm down.

this is a pointless blog, but i was just pissed at that. oh, on a side note, DirecTV customer service also sucks ass. i could list about 30 reasons i feel this way and i've only had it for a few weeks. um.... that's all i've got.

To anyone that's checking this (duh)

i guess it's kind of retarded to say "if you're checking this", but i seriously doubt anyone's going to read this until i get internet again. which could be quite a while. anyway, if you are reading this, you're a HARDCORE J-dubs blog supporter, and you should be commended, then checked for STD's. i've found that my target demographic tends to have STD's, so if you ARE reading this, i can help you find a clinic. Just give me a ringy-dingy.

Anyway, i know it seems weird that i'm saying i'll write more when i get internet, because clearly i'm writing this for the internet right now. i just can't write now, long story, quite boring. but i will be back. i think most of you only read this shit if i put a link on my AIM profile, and i haven't been online (consistently) in a while (nor will i be for a while).

anyway... stay tuned, and keep on keepin' on.

i like things that are funny and taste like pizza.

ok, this doesn't qualify as a My Rants, because none of it is original. this is something i found a few years ago, and i always thought it was funny. if i remember right, bethany gillen sent it to me. whoops, i could have retained her anonymity. Hereafter, she will be known as Spethany Spillen. i'm not going to erase her name though. again, i'm not into that whole "erasing" thing. a little too fruity for me, somehow. i'll shut up now.

A few things that irritate me, by Some Guy On The Internet

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
6. When something is "new and improved"!
Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
7. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, Knobhead? Feel free to add to the list :)

ok, that one wasn't as funny as i remember. but this one is more my speed nowadays. from the same website. i love dark humor. sometimes.

-When the gag slips out and they start screaming loud enough for your neighbors to hear before you get a chance to inject them with the sedative
-When you are chopping away happily and the axe-head flies off the haft, through their living room window and onto the front lawn just as a cop car is driving by
-When your freezer loses power and everything spoils before you get a chance to sell the kidneys on the black market for heroin
-No. 3 pencils

Longest. Blog. Ever.

yesterday i went to the driving range. if you don't know what that is (i assume it's common knowledge, but i guess if you're not into sports you might not know, so sorry if it sounds like i'm patronizing you), it's where you go and hit golf balls as hard as you can. well, that's what i do because i suck. other people were working on their "arsenal" of shots, which made no sense to me. like this guy next to me... he was hitting the ball STRAIGHT UP like 100 feet in the air. pretty impressive. um... "couldn't you have done that in your backyard for...uh... free?"

then these other girls came over, so of course i had to try to drive further than them. on one of my first shots, i completely missed the ball, which i hadn't done for the first 75 balls or so. awesome. i think i heard them talking about me. i would too, if i were them. it was pretty funny.

my favorite part of this experience was the fact that they were trying to teach "Sara" how to hit the ball. this was clearly her first time ever picking up a golf club. again, i should reiterate that i suck at golf.

so.... Sara was doing fairly well for a beginner, but her friends were SUCKING HER COCK LIKE IT WAS THEIR JOB.

"Oh my God Sara! that's so good!"
"Are you sure this is your first time?"
"SARA!!! gosh, you're amazing!"

this went ON and ON and ON. so trite. i was just hoping one of her other friends would somehow shatter her fragile confidence. like, "eh... she's not that great."

also, i forgot to bring tees (this is turning into a long blog... i doubt anyone's still reading)... tees are what you put the golf ball on. ok, that was intentionally condescending. i had to ask this guy to borrow (meaning have and never give back) some tees. the guy had a "i'm a crazy serial killer dressed like a college professor but no one knows i'm leading a double life" type of look. when he gave me the tees, i felt a chill go through my very soul. he looked at me as if to say, "if you only knew how many bodies i have in my basement and the sexual rituals i've performed on them, you'd ask Sara if you could borrow some of her tees instead. God, Sara is hot. She'd look even hotter if she was doused with Holy water and buried in my basement." Either that, or he's a college professor.

My Rants, Part IV: Fishing For Fecal Matter

ok, this has nothing to do with feces at all. i was just curious if anyone would read this to see why i was writing about poop. sad to say, i'm not going to. also, i liked the alliteration. here's to you, kevin ker (i think this is the second time kevin has appeared in a blog... weird).

actually, i'd like to talk (meaning, type) to you about people who fish for compliments. ok, it's one thing if you want to talk about yourself a lot. everyone likes to talk about themselves, that's how we're made. i'm cool with that. people that take it too far, however, we tend to find annoying. if you don't find them annoying, it's probably you that's doing it.

but if you're going to talk about yourself constantly, don't beat around the bush about it... just talk! here are some common examples:

scratch that, i can't think of any examples. i realize i could just erase that last paragraph, stating that i'm about to list examples. but i don't feel like it. why? because it's easier to keep typing than it is to move my hand 6 inches to the left, put my hand on the mouse, highlight that paragraph, then delete it. i'd rather just keep typing and tell you why i'm not going to do that. i'm not a sellout, okay? you know, the Nazis had delete buttons... delete buttons of hatred. chew on that, fatty.

Mmmmmm....medicine-y (simpsons reference)

Have you seen these commercials that are like, "Have you recently taken Crapsicoxyn? Have you developed a small tumor on your earlobe? Are you suffering because of this?" How did these law firms get so specific? How do they know WHICH things to advertise? Has anyone else noticed every sentence so far has been a question? "Bobby, have you ever seen a grown man naked?" (if you don't know what that quote is from, well.... i'm not going to tell you.)

Seriously though. It's not even like they make tons of different commercials for tons of different problems. i'm not sure if i'm making sense, so let me explain.

let's say you're the law offices of goldman and smith. you put out a commercial for people who used Phen-Phen. however you spell it. that's all fine. but why did you pick Phen-Phen? wouldn't it be smarter to say something like, "have you ever taken a drug that has harmed you somehow?" or something like, "have you ever done anything at any time that has made your life worse in some way? if so, call us and we'll get you a shitload of money you probably don't deserve, at the taxpayers' expense, of course."

the other thing about this is... every time i see one of these commercials, i'm always jealous that i don't have whatever the affliction is. not because i want a huge settlement (although that would be nice), but because i know someone, somewhere is going, "HEY, THAT'S ME!!! honey, come check out the TV!!! they're talking about my tumor! AWESOME!!!" now, that guy has a story he can tell all his friends. i wish i could take some phen-phen and become horribly disfigured.

Don't F with a national ad campaign.

In the past day, i have seen TWO local commercials (different companies) using the following premise:

(insert anything)...... $5.99
(insert something else)... $7.20
(insert last thing).....$4.15
(insert whatever abstract idea they're "selling")... priceless.

local commercials, i'd like you to meet copyright infringement suit; copyright infringement suit, meet local commercials. i think you'll both be drawn to each other like plankton to a stoned shark.

My Rants, Part III: Jamster blows.

COPYRIGHT MIKE HARRISON 2006

this was completely mike's idea, although i completely kevin-ker with his analysis.

the Jamster ad that's on the top of your IM thing... when you scroll your mouse over it, it plays that OBNOXIOUSLY loud music. i don't know what else to say about it, other than the fact that it sucks. and it always scares the bejeezus out of me. i wonder if it would be THAT loud on someone's phone? i'm guessing not. either way, it sucks, and i HATE the fact that there's no way to get rid of it.

while we're chatting (and by that, i mean me having a monologue) about IM, use of "lol" has gotten way out of hand. it means LOTS OF LAUGHS, and yet people write it after every sentence it seems. stuff is NOT THAT FUNNY! is there anyone that laughs out loud after every sentence someone says?

i'm tired of writing now, i'm going to go pay my rent. EARLY, BITCHES!!! (tax refund check)

My Rants, Part II: Faux Mints

am i spelling "faux" right? probably.

who on earth decided it was a good idea to completely HOODWINK the american public into believing that what LOOKS like a mint, is WRAPPED the same way a mint would be wrapped, and is even PLACED right by the cash register just like a mint, would actually be CINNAMON? what? i mean, seriously. next you're going to tell me the chicken i just ate was actually GOOD for me. look, i like my mints minty, my chicken artery-cloggish, and my whores disease-free. i realize i didn't have to throw that last part in, but once again, it's my blog and i'll write what i want to, write what i want to, write what i want to.

The Pocketcloth

Pudgy-faced, an innocent wanderer,
knowing not his destination,
perhaps going nowhere.
Does he miss the lure of playground vitality?
Can he even find the school?
Arms flailing in cyclical rapture
Blood feverishly races as a tributary
on painted faces - unaware of their pending isolation -
gazing foolishly to the skies for answers, pleading to the gods.

Olive suede his mate on this day;
he glides past, glancing behind
unknowingly.
Terrain, like an African foot-hold;
firm and unyielding, yet
flaunting a ruby-like pocketcloth on its spine.
A delicate, perfect silk, teasing the dusty road.
Lustful intrigue overrides rationality this day,
a union so new and vibrant.
Brashly wielding weapons of old
a young knight is restored.

Without explanation, the winds of cruelty
slash his spirit, and the pocketcloth is
violently liberated.
Fearing the worst and assuming the best,
he waits for a repirise,
as a diva pauses in the wings,
its fluttery glee so familiar to he...

2004

My rants, Part I: TV Denial

this is the first of what i'm sure will be more, hence the "Part I". just little things i want to rant about. most of them (like this one) will be stupid stuff... don't take this as serious anger. it's just a friggin' blog, people. it should be read in a sarcastically confused tone.

TV Denial

"oh, i haven't seen that commercial (for say... the Geico caveman commercial... who the fuck hasn't seen this?).... i don't watch much tv."
"oh, i don't own a TV. i think it rots the brain."

and so on.

who the FUCK do these people think they are? EVERYONE watches TV. if you say you don't, you're either lying or you're too busy playing with yourself to watch. and DON'T try to say you don't watch that much TV, we ALL watch a lot of TV. yeah, it's all relative as to what is a lot is, but come on. If you're American, can afford a TV, and are bright enough to figure out where to plug the cables, YOU WATCH TV. you're better off just admitting it. the worst part is the smug look people give when they say stuff like this. it's like that South Park episode where everyone is buying a hybrid car... they sort of squint, smile, and and put their ear on their shoulder. it's a visual thing. dan, if you're reading this, and i'm sure you're not, you know what i'm talking about(dan is a South Park guru, it seems).

once again, i don't know how to wrap this up. More rants to come, my children. Feel free to rant about any subject in the comments section... as they say in Good Will Hunting, "you are bound by nothing."

Yet another list.

i found another list. this one's from TV Guide's Top 50 Cartoon Characters of all time:

1. Bugs Bunny
2. Homer Simpson
3. Rocky and Bullwinkle
4. Beavis and Butt-Head
5. The Grinch
6. Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble
7. Angelica Pickles
8. Charlie Brown and Snoopy
9. SpongeBob SquarePants
10. Cartman from "South Park"
11. Bart and Lisa Simpson
12. Fat Albert
13. The Powerpuff Girls
14. Daffy Duck
15. Pikachu
16. Gumby
17. Betty Boop
18. Top Cat
19. Mickey Mouse
20. Popeye
21. Gerald McBoing-Boing
22. Scooby-Doo
23. Underdog
24. Josie and the Pussycats
25. Heckle and Jeckle
26. Arthur
27. Winnie the Pooh
28. Felix The Cat
29. Mr. Magoo
30. George of the Jungle
31. Ren and Stimpy
32. Tom Terrific
33. Tweety and Sylvester
34. Bill from "Schoolhouse Rock"
35. Space Ghost
36. Yogi Bear and Boo Boo
37. Mighty Mouse
38. Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner
39. Superman
40. Batman
41. Daria
42. Wonder Woman
43. Donald Duck
44. Alvin (The Chipmunk)
45. Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale
46. Woody Woodpecker
47. Porky Pig
48. Bobby Hill from "King of the Hill"
49. Speed Racer
50. Tom and Jerry

my question is this: am i the only one that thinks this is the gayest thing that's ever been written, ever?

A Mouse

If you stare at the ground for an hour
you'll empower
the vision and precision of a mouse in a meadow
meddling steadily,
never waning or profaning someone's name,
only staying in the moment
never straying for a second
from the task of which has beckoned for attention
to be paid;

and yet,
the praise and accolades only waste his precious time;
for he finds that nine of ten
he comes and goes without a whim,
and on days of cattle graze
his guilty conscience underlays.

2003

Saran-wrap and unicorns.

Top 2 things i've been thinking about today:

1.) What the fuck is up with this Scientology shit?

2.) How did we ever think that Saved By The Bell was a good show? And don't fucking lie, we ALL liked it at the time. If you say you didn't, you're either a terrorist, Canadian, or both.

That is all.

Nobody ever says "I want to be a junkie when I grow up."

Remember that commercial?

I recently stumbled upon a website for potential jobs for English majors at UNC-Wilmington. Lots of choices here. I'm going to list a few of them for you, tell me if you see anything out of place. In case you think I'm making this up (it would be an awfully strange thing to make up), here's the website:
http://www.uncwil.edu/stuaff/career/Majors/english.htm

Anyway, take a look at the list. My comments are below. Actually, they're all over the place.

*College Professor (can't you say use this one for ANY major? lame.)
*Hotel & Motel Manager
*Playwright
*Poet
*Humorist/Comedian
*Interior Designer (how is this related to English again?)
*Crossword Puzzle
*Journalist
*Singer/Voice (wouldn't this be a music thing?)
*Stockbroker
*Teacher (see College Professor)
*Talent Agent
*Curator
*Teacher (all levels) .... i didn't add this one again. it's in there twice. they really are hammering this education thing home.
*Creative Writer
*Translator
*Comedy Writer
*Writer
*Technical Writer (ok, clearly they want you to be a teacher or writer.)

In case you missed it, one of the occupations is Crossword Puzzle. Hm.

Even if they meant Crossword Puzzle Writer, is that really someone's full-time job? I can't see people sitting around 9-5, working in cubicles, stressing out because they have Crossword Writer's Block.

"GODDAMN IT SANDY, can't you see i'm trying to work on a fucking PUZZLE HERE??? JESUS.

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit drinking."

A film that defines an era

Once in a blue moon, a film comes along that challenges us to redefine the word "greatitude". They make us laugh, they make us cry, they make us feel. We have witnessed a new golden age of cinema in the past 25 years. And yet, so few films can come close to the genius that is Gone With The Wind, The Godfather, or Joe Vs. The Volcano.

Throughout history, however, few films have come close to the genius that is.... "High School Musical".

If you have seen this brilliant work, I beg you to go and worship at the altar of the movie gods, thanking them for such a marvelous gift to mankind.

High School Musical, made by the Disney Channel, is profound in so many ways.

I'm done with the sarcasm now. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE if you have Tivo, TAPE it. if you don't, WATCH it. look on the internet for when it will come on. Hang on...

Ok, I just did some quick research. Apparently they're turning this into a REAL musical. I'm speechless. Here's something else I found:

For more information, visit www.disneychannel.com/highschoolmusical

Also, you can leave your comments (of course i did), and hopefully they'll show up the next time the movie comes on... and make sure you look out for my comment:

This movie was radical! It really makes me look forward to high school... and maybe being in a musical one day! Gosh, it really makes you think... we DO need to work together and our dreams CAN come true! Thanks, Disney Channel!!!
---Lupe, age 13 Maine (because when i think "Maine", i think "Latino")

Judge Wapner, Judge Wapner....

I was searching for flavored water in the grocery store, and I guess I must have looked lost, because this guy started yelling at me from far away. He was hurrying toward me. You might even say it was more of a scurry motion.

"Hey! What are you looking for? What are you trying to find?"

He was a little too helpful. Plus, he wasn't wearning a name badge or anything that said Food Lion on it.

As he got closer, I could see why he was so anxious.

He was retarded.

Now before anyone starts going off about me making fun of retarded people, I'm not making fun of retarded people. This particular retarded person was like the Rain Main of grocery stores. It was remarkable.

"I'm looking for flavored wa--"

Before I could finish the sentence, he had blurted out (very loudly, I might add), "Aisle 8! Come on, I'll take you!"

Of course, I had to follow him. I felt like if I had said any food, he would have instantly told me where to find it, all the while staring at the floor and bobbing about nervously.

Saltine Cra--
Aisle 5.
Beefaro---
Aisle 9.
Five Alive Citrus Dr--
No longer in stock, no longer in stock. Discontinued since 1987, 1987. Yep, definitely discontinued.

Then, on an entirely unrelated note, I completely broke the shit out of the automatic door (don't ask me how) then made even more of an ass out of myself by cracking up laughing about it in the parking lot. It would be a lot funnier if you knew HOW hard I hit the door (HARD) and how it looked when I left (BAD).

What's wrong with French people (meaning Chinese food), Part II

i went to another chinese restaurant tonight. more fortune cookie fun.

in case you didn't read my other blog about this (go read it, lazy... it'll take you 5 seconds), these are not the fortunes, but the pronunciations of Chinese words on the back.

Bean-sprout (honestly... BEAN SPROUT??? i think they're fucking with us now) = "Dou-yah"
Bank = "Hang"
Good = "Hao"

so, if you were to say, "Good bean-sprout, Bank" (say, if Bank was someone's name.... bear with me, okay...), it would be pronounced "How do ya hang?"

Also, sitting next to my grandfather was interesting. And by interesting, I mean painful. He's one of those old guys that says racially "charged" things that can't necessarily be called racism, but just uses a ton of blanket statements. Here's what I found out.

• All Asians are happy to be living in the U.S., because they can make a lot more money here than they can "over there".
• Every Asian is smarter than any American.
• The Vietnamese people he used to work with could "swing from tree to tree like monkeys". My attention was fading in and out, so I'm not exactly sure what he was talking about.

This was a teppan-yaki restaurant (one that cooks the food in front of you). There are so many things I could discuss about this, but most importantly, does anyone else notice that it's the EXACT same gags/gimmicks/tricks/jokes at EVERY restaurant? like they'll take a slab of butter and throw it on the grill and go, "butterfly". Here's what i don't get... my family, who have seen these tricks 8 TRILLION times, still laughs like it's the funniest goddamn joke they've ever heard. i wonder if a teppan-yaki chef has ever gotten heckled.

i don't know how to wrap this up so... bye.

Strangest thing ever.

Actual conversation I overheard in the bathroom at work today:

(the names have been changed.... well, maybe. i don't know their names, so maybe i guessed the right ones)

Bob: Hey Jim, how's it going?
Jim: I don't know.

At this point, i was getting ready to leave the bathroom, but i had to stick around to see if Jim was going to EXPLAIN why he didn't know how "it was going". But alas, there was to be no explanation on this day. And it's not like he said it in a distraught way (like he just found out that his cat died or something, and he's in some sort of depressed haze and can't concentrate). It was very nonchalant.

who says that? one of the strangest responses to a normal question i've ever heard.

ONE MORE NOTE from today (i know you're all on the edge of your seats... buckle up):

Sirius Satellite Radio (which I have, otherwise i probably wouldn't be talking about it) announced a new channel today.... Playboy Radio. does anyone else see a major problem with this? for those of you that aren't following, let me be a little clearer:

playboy RADIO